It's a little odd that I came across this in my Newsfeed when just about a half hour ago I was sitting here thinking the same thing. I mean, these exact thoughts people were sharing.I have lost a sense of who I am. Everyday I seem to function on auto pilot, and my memory is horrible. Days, weeks, and months have been blotted out of my memory just to become a huge blur.I currently take Viibryd, Lamictal, Klonopin, Adderall, Abilify, and Wellbutrin. I am 28 years old.I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. I am currently on Social Security because of my conditions.The drugs offer me relief from sadness and self destruction. I get intrusive thoughts badly of death and dying. Yet, my life is passing by me so quickly because my head is clouded.I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have thought so many times what it would be like to have a clear head, yet I'm afraid to leave my meds behind, because I fear those horrible thoughts. I fear the panic, and the darkness. This is a dark place that I am in, but I am numbed to an extent. I function better, but I am unable to LIVE. Maybe in my case this is the right thing for me, to live numb instead of in fear. They are keeping me physically alive, but mentally numb. Either scenario is no way to live.
You're so beautiful!It's been a long time.I do't know what to say. I just feel so sad and angry about what these drugs have been doing!
Yes, it has been a long time. I decided to come back and blog some more :) I've missed it. And thank you!Yesh, it is a shame, but I guess some people just have no other choice-like me :(
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