Thursday, February 2

Virginia Woolf's suicide note

I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.


Mark p.s.2 said...

I have no idea who Virginia Woolf is. A writer I presume?

"I can't fight any longer."
What was she fighting?

"I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate."
I hear voices, you can live with it.

"If anybody could have saved me it would have been you."
What a mind-fu** for the one you love to write this thought down.

In my opinion she spent too much time indoors. A self imposed kind of jail.

What does an animal like a dog or a dolphin enjoy?
I think animals enjoy running or swimming, good food , good sleep and good sex.

Ana said...

She was a writer Mark a very important writer who created "stream of consciousness" in literature.
She has been hospitalized three times but I don't know the diagnosis and psychiatry made it hard to find it since they want to claim that a famous person suffered "Depression" in one site, "schizophrenia" in a another list and "bipolar" i another one.
I'll publish two other suicide notes.
I want to talk about suicide trying to be the more faithful I can to what I read about people asking help because of suicidal ideation.
I believe that the way suicide is approached, when people talk about it, is not right.
Sometimes people don't find another way...

Rebekah Brooks said...

When the coroner read her suicide note to the press, he misread it and said "I can't go through another of these terrible times." Everyone assumed it was reference to the war and that she killed herself because of it. The war may have had a slight influence but it definitely wasn't the direct cause.

Ana said...

I just visited your blog.
I didn't know this story. Surely not, not because of the war.
We like explanations for suicide that are tangible but existential pain is very hard to stand and people don't see the blood or scars...

Anonymous said...

There is no one "thing" that leads a person to cross that threshold, to attempt to take their life, rather it is many things. It is different for everyone as we all have a different ability for handling and dealing with our stressors. It takes many drops to fill a cup but only one to overflow it. Once that cup has overflowed can we remove that drop from the others? Can we isolate it? The answer is no, it just adds to a stressful load and causes a tragic outcome. Someone who is suicidal is not thinking clearly due to the pain from their illness regardless of the label that illness has. They only see their pain and ending it, pain that is invisible to us.